Will it ever end?
by Syjack
Summary: Alice has a conversation with Dumbledore over Sirius after Halloween 1981, then goes back to her flat and remembers.


He sat in his chair in the headmaster's office, staring at all the portraits of the headmasters and headmistresses past trying to let everything sink in of days past. The Potters had been killed, and their son been taken to live with his Uncle and Aunt. Sirius had of course been interrogated by Albus Dumbledore himself after the arrest, at Azkaban. The story he told had to be nothing but truth. Of course Sirius' memory had to be wiped. Living through that wretched place would be easier for him this way. Dumbledore pondered of those left behind. Sure Voldemort had been defeated, but somehow it seemed wrong to celebrate. He had always held a soft spot for the Marauders, except when their pranks got out of hand, and to see Lily and James dead, their son living with the only family he has left, Remus Lupin facing the world alone without the friends who had taught him to live, Peter Pettigrew out their somewhere biding his time, and Alice. At that thought he knew someone was waiting behind his door, debating whether to enter or not. They decided to do so and he raised his head to look at her. Sirius Black and Alice Lupin had of course been together after their years at Hogwarts. Somehow during their time spent in the Order of the Phoenix, the free spirited, quirky, awkward, eccentric, and the risk taking, charming, handsome, cocky, troublemaker had formed some sort of loving bond. Things had now changed though, in front of him now Alice sat quiet, in shock, and had been mentally unhinged due to the sudden breakdown and destruction of her life and the lives of those around her. Her hair had been dyed black, either an attempt to display how her soul felt, or to bring him back in any way shape or form.

"Professor Dumbledore, I have a question to ask you." She never looked at him.

His gaze reached her. "Yes."

"Sirius, should I try to contact him in anyway would it be better if I … or if… or if I ... ."

Dumbledore finished for her. ", Did not." She acknowledged his words with a slight nod. "Do you believe him to be guilty?"

"I believe what I know, he is Sirius Black, Gryffindor, best friend to James Potter, member of the Order of the Phoenix, hater of anything dealing with or relating to the dark arts, good guy, funny, puller of pranks, and currently locked up in Azkaban."

"Then it would seem to rest on the belief of whether it would make it easier for Sirius to have some sort of connection to someone who thought well of him, or to have no connection and nothing that would make him a target of the dementors."

Her eyes roamed around for a good minute before finally sighing and nodding at him. "It would make it even more difficult for him to be there, if it was harder for him to deal more with the dementors." She looked at Dumbledore her eyes asking him if there was another way, or if he could make it easier for Sirius somehow, a wish she could neither express nor say aloud.

"Then it seems that you and I have come to the same conclusion." She looked at Dumbledore.

"But he's got to know someone still, … that someone believes he is innocent I mean, Dumbledore, he's in Azkaban, AZKABAN!. He got-" she froze and collected herself from her outburst of emotion, because if it continued, she would be joined with Sirius in Azkaban for committing an unforgivable curse against the first death eater she hunted down after she flew from the headmaster's office."Will it ever stop Dumbledore?"

He stared intently at her. "I cannot say. Though dark things will never cease to occur, always remember that light, however small and however enveloping the darkness may seem, is always present. Even when we least expect it. Alas, you still have your brother do you not, and I do believe that you and Mr. Lupin will need each other now more than ever with the events of recent past."

"I guess you're right, thank you professor."

She stood up and walked to the door and just as she was about to open it Dumbledore spoke, "Never forget to hope Ms. Lupin. Also, I do believe that eventually I will need your help in getting your brother to join our Hogwarts staff, and you of course are always welcome to assist Madam Pomfrey. I happen to remember that you were quite useful to a select number of students during your time here at Hogwarts." He eyed her with an all to knowing look.

"I'll consider it, but I doubt I'm ready or able to attempt any magic yet. As for Remus, we'll try to work something out."

"Thank you professor."

"A pleasure Ms. Lupin."

She apparated back to their flat in London, put the keys in the lock and closed the door behind her. As she looked around she reminded herself that she was going to have to start calling it her flat. She turned toward the kitchen and heated some water in the kettle, and got out a mug. She examined it in her hands and then immediately threw it against the wall, shattering it into pieces. She sighed and the picked up the shards and repaired the mug, just in time as the kettle whistled. She put in a teabag and walked into their room, sat on the bed, and watched the tele until the sun went down. She placed her untouched tea by the bedside table, and tried to sleep. She stared at the alarm for three hours until she managed. It was one month since it happened.

_It was late at night and they had just returned home, tired after Order work. This had happened in the days when he had just popped by every once in awhile. They walked into their room and closed the door. They never made it to the bed. She had had to get a rug. The Shag rug that was a shag rug. When she had woke up before him. She stared at him and wondered if that was what he was like with Chelsea or Kaitlyn or whoever he was officially with this time. She didn't love him in a romantic way, he was just her friend, whom she happened to shag. Lily was her best friend, but not calling Sirius that felt wrong too. She guessed they both were. Grabbed for his t-shirt and walked into the kitchen and started making breakfast, in nothing but his t-shirt. At the smell of food he woke up, and walked into the kitchen, wearing nothing but his dark blue boxers she had gotten him for Christmas. It was a tradition she started the first year she had been sleeping with him, and ever since, he had gotten boxers for Christmas. He sat down at the small table they used only for breakfast in the morning as it was a small card table, though sometimes they did in fact eat dinner and lunch there as well. When she set his plate down he nodded thanks and began on his toast. When they were finished he would grab their dishes and rinse them off and put them in the sink, then get dressed, and go back to his girlfriend's house, not before leaving Alice with a goodbye kiss on the cheek. Sometimes when he was in between girlfriends after nights like that they'd spend the day together or at least sleep in late until she was forced to go to work, as she had not inherited gold from some family member as Sirius and James had. She loved those days. _

She woke with start and threw her tea mug against the wall, leaving a trail of sopping tea on the wall and floor. This time she did not repair it.


End file.
